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When women are faced with a difficult pregnancy they really only need two things:

1) Unfettered access to doctors' opinions about their situation
2) Freedom to make an informed choice based on those opinions

The ad that has caused the latest stir features a mother and her son. The son happens to be the quarterback at the University of Florida and a Heisman trophy winner -- but that is supposedly only important in the context of this ad being connected to the "big game." (The ad is being created by a conservative religious group, Focus on the Family, and they are continuing to build excitement and speculation by not pre-releasing it.)

Members of the Tebow family, including Pam, the mom, have been overseas missionaries, and founded the Bob Tebow Evangelistic Association in the Philippines. During one of their mission trips to the country Pam developed dysentery, which escalated until she was comatose. The medications she was given at that time are known to possibly cause harm or death to a developing fetus -- and she was unknowingly pregnant at that time with her son, Tim Tebow.

The Tebow family was given medical advice by doctors and they then made their decision to continue the pregnancy.

Some may say the Tebow's "were fortunate" or "got lucky." Others will say it was the "grace of God" or the "power of prayer." Quite frankly, people's thoughts about the outcome of the pregnancy aren't nearly as important as the fact that a woman was presented with unfettered access to information about her personal situation, and that same woman, understanding all the risks, made a decision that she felt was best for her and her family.

That's a beautiful story. That's a story we can all be proud to hear and proud to share. The fact that Focus on the Family and its donors feel compelled to spend between $2 and $3 million so that viewers can know what a good thing it is to trust women? We should all be up applauding.

Women who begin to use the Internet -- especially women of older generations -- are often shocked to find how much sexism truly exists on what everyone says is a great equalizer or the last true egalitarian culture. Once the connection is made, it is easy to point out "the biggies" as far as sexism on the Internet goes. But perhaps the most day-to-day frustrating part of being a woman in this word of blogs and bytes are the little itches of sexism that seem to fester.

Samantha Miller, writing for The Daily Iowan, points specifically to one such nuisance:

A very handy tool on everyone's favorite search engine, Google, will fill in subsequent words in your inquiry you may be intending to search for. For instance, if you begin to type "Brad," it will anticipate you are searching for "Brad Pitt." Google does this because Brad Pitt is the most searched Brad. Voilà. Time saved.

As handy as it is, it can also highlight the most popular beliefs and interests of those who use the search engine. Let me elaborate: Google "women should" and just see what it recommends based on previous searches.

No, it doesn't suggest "run for president" or "have equal pay." Instead, the top three searches will tell you women should "wear white like all other domestic appliances," "not wear pants," and "not speak in church" (oh, and if for the latter you were hoping to alternatively search for "be silent in church," fret not, that's Google's following recommendation.) As you read further down the list, you get other helpful search ideas such as "stay at home," "not be in combat," and "not preach."

Thank God for Google. It reads my mind ... or someone's mind, at least...

Miller uses this "helpful" Google phenomenon to point to the ways humor, even those little off-hand one-liners we all use occasionally, can be rebuilding and reinforcing stereotypes that many want to believe are behind us.

I can't disagree with her opinion on the pitfalls of such comedic attempts, so I'm letting that stand without question.

I do, however, have a theory about the Google searches. I think many who want to hold and continue to enforce sexist beliefs are being confronted more and more often about the true necessity and reasoning behind such beliefs. That is, I don't think that some in today's society are willing to hear a minister say that women should not speak out in church and take that statement at face value. People want to know why this is and what purpose it serves. Once the reasoning is out in the open, it is up to those involved to decide if this is still an edict of value.

Google, and really all Internet search engines, offer individuals access to a wide assortment of opinions. What better place to go if a person wanted to challenge something based on long-standing tradition or to defend the same.

Roxanne Conlin was the first woman in Iowa history to serve as a U.S. Attorney, and now she is poised to give Iowa woman another first. Conlin wants to be the first Iowa woman elected to serve in Congress.

In order to complete that task, she'll first have to battle in a Democratic Primary against at least three other contenders. Then she'll need to take on Chuck Grassley, who has served Iowans in the U.S. Senate for nearly three decades, but has recently seen his worth decline in the eyes of some voters.

Grassley is probably most known nationally, at least of late, for his political maneuvering in terms of health care reform. And it also safe to say that such incidents, which can only be described as bad-faith negotiations on Grassley's part, raised a few eyebrows among residents of the Hawkeye State who would have previously summed up Grassley as more of a straight shooter. In short, Iowans may not have always agreed with Grassley's positions on an issue, but prior to the health care reform fiasco, most would have told you that at least they always knew where he stood.

While national pundits take a look over Grassley's shoulder and wonder what happened to the moderate they came to know and admire, Iowa Republican pundits take in the same view and are proclaiming him still to be too close to the political middle.

He angered the social conservative base back home when he launched an investigation against several television evangelists. He was threatened with a primary if he didn't tow the party line on issues seen as key to bring about a (social conservative) Republican Rising in the next election cycle. And, now armed with his own mobile device that allows him to present his unfiltered thoughts to Iowans,Grassley's down-home dialogue on national issues isn't necessarily causing the people to stand up and cheer for more.

Despite all of this, however, Iowans aren't completely ready to push Grassley out. If nothing else, Iowans have learned from their caucus experiences how important it is to maintain their voice in national affairs, and they know that in the U.S. Senate longevity goes a long way toward committee assignments, dialogue and setting the national tone on topics viewed as key here in flyover country.

Iowans across the state -- and this is especially true of women in our state -- are also keenly aware that they are in a race for last place. That is, there are only two states in the union that have not elected a woman to Congress or to the governor's office: Iowa and Mississippi. Iowans don't want to come in last. The sentiment, which has previously only been bubbling about in women's circles, is becoming more prominent, and has already prompted some who support Grassley to start defending him in a manner of, "Sure, we want a woman, but we don't want *this* woman."

Conlin will need to overcome 30-years worth of name recognition in order to best Grassley. But she has on her side the ever-present rumors of a young grandson by the same last name being groomed for the position. Iowans may be loyal, mind you, but they aren't necessarily loyal to a point of family political dynasties.

Social conservative Iowans, who denied Grassley a voting voice at the last Republican National Convention, may have been acting out of spite, but they actually ended up doing the senior senator a small favor. When the party came out nationally against ethanol -- calling for an end to mandates for the corn-based fuel in their national platform -- it was advantageous for Grassley's name not to be directly connected. While leaders from other heavy ag states spoke out against the platform, Grassley provided, at best, lukewarm opposition. He stated that maybe the mandates weren't needed.

Consistency tossed aside, Grassley's own actions have some wondering what he might do next, and, more importantly, not liking the possibilities. Once considered a Teflon-coated man on the Iowa political landscape, Grassley is now viewed as more of an unknown and a potential liability. For instance, will his bad-faith negotiations come back to roost in the form of a climate bill that doesn't take the needs and realities of Iowa ag interests into account?

If Grassley continues to try to walk the line between what his political history says he is and what social conservatives in Iowa want him to be, there is little doubt that the small glimmer of hope for those who wish to oppose him will brighten. The closer he moves to Iowa politics in an order to bolster his support at home, the further he moves away from being someone with respect and clout in the U.S. Senate.

Conlin, on the other hand, is presented with an Iowa quite different than one she had in previous campaigns. Marriage equality, while still being hammered by those on the right-most fringes of the social conservative base, has not developed into the statewide boogie-man that was predicted. For the first time in a very long time, Democratic voters outnumber Republican voters in all but one Congressional District. (Readers can guess which one.)

Her introductory attempt, embedded above, goes straight for the kitchen table issues that are forefront in Iowan's minds. It's a good start, but it's only a start. She needs to embark on an unprecedented campaign that will take her to every school district in the state, every Chamber of Commerce and every family farm. She needs to be well-versed on both the immigration fears that plague Iowa factory workers, and the reality of the immigration needs in small-town Iowa. She has to look fourth generation dairy farmers and pork producers in the eye and understand why they are so fearful of losing what their family has built, and why they are so angry that large ag corporations are rolling in wealth. She needs to understand and be able to convey that even a government-issued health insurance card isn't enough for rural Iowans, and that federal policies must change if we are to maintain vibrant small towns here and elsewhere.

While recognizing that the "first woman" aspect of her campaign is appealing to many, she must know that alone isn't enough to earn her victory. Pulling comments from Grassley that can be viewed as sexist won't be difficult, but also will not garner the victory. She needs to stand out as an individual, someone who is worthy of trust and, regardless of gender, the absolute best person for the job.

There is no doubt that Conlin has a hard campaign before her, but it is not an insurmountable task.

"There is in every woman's heart, a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity, but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity." -- Washington Irving, 1783-1859

An Iowa sisterhood formed out of shared grief, has no interest in increasing its numbers. In fact, the five founding Iowa women are hard at work to decrease their prospective membership pool.

Tiffan Yamen, Kate Safris, Janet Petersen, Jan Caruthers and Kerry Biondi-Morlan discovered one another in 2003 after each had experienced the death of an infant daughter. Although the circumstances surrounding their daughter's deaths are different, the immediate understanding they had for one another's grief sparked a friendship. And, from that friendship, sparked a mission.

The women, all from Des Moines, founded Healthy Birth Day, an organization devoted to preventing stillbirth and infant death through research, education and advocacy. Their latest project, Count the Kicks, launched officially in June.

Petersen, a state representative who lost her daughter Grace in July 2003 to a true knot in the umbilical cord, first met Yeman, who had lost her daughter Madeline, also to a knotted cord, just seven weeks earlier. Through mutual friends the two women were introduced to Caruthers and Biondi-Morland, whose daughters Jayden and Grace, respectively, were also stillborn, and Safris, who lost daughter Emma to congenital heart defects shortly after her birth.

"At that point we just looked at one another and said 'enough.' We knew we had to start doing something about this," Petersen said. "There are a lot of things for bereavement available, but what we wanted to do is make sure that no one had to go through the same things we had gone through."

The Count the Kicks awareness campaign is the group's first effort to reach out directly to pregnant women with a plan of action that can alert families to possible complications. Radio public service announcements featuring celebrities were followed by whimsical posters and brochures intended for doctor's offices and clinics. All materials produced by the group outline the importance of counting fetal movements daily during late pregnancy.

"Counting fetal movements isn't something we came up with it," Biondi-Morland explained. "The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists have a brochure on it, and they are the ones who set the parameters. We just noticed patients weren't actively seeking out that information and physicians weren't actively promoting it. It is something that's been known for a long time, we just want to promote it and place it at the front of pregnant mother's minds."

The women are promoting counting fetal kicks as a pro-active task women and their families can do, something that can help create an early bond with the baby.

"This is a positive message, not a scary message," Petersen said. "I did have someone who worried that this message might scare women, but I don't see that. Women are encouraged to a do a monthly breast self-exam. That message is not intended to scare them, but intended to save their life. The same is true of this count the kicks message."

It's a message that Iowa First Lady Mari Culver is proud to help promote. She and University of Iowa football coach Kirk Ferentz recorded public service announcements that have ran statewide, encouraging pregnant women to keep track of fetal movements.

"Chet and I have been so fortunate," Culver said. "We have had two healthy pregnancies that resulted in two healthy babies. We want all Iowans to experience that. So, the when the women approached me about doing this, I could see that there was a real need to get this preventative message out. I was glad to do it."

And, the Count the Kicks program already has someone who can speak directly to the benefits of counting kicks. Jennifer McCune, of South Sioux City, was 37 weeks into pregnancy with her son, Danny, when she noticed that he wasn't moving as much has he had been. Three hours later, Danny was born via emergency c-section, the umbilical cord wrapped four times around his neck. She credits a magazine advertisement by First Candle for the knowledge to seek medical help and her son's life, and has agreed to help Count the Kicks promote their message.

The initiative is first being piloted in Iowa and the Pittsburgh area, funded in part by a grant from the Heinz Family Philanthropies. Once the organization has developed a workable plan, the Iowa women hope to expand the awareness campaign nationally.

Safris admits that in the beginning, the task of launching this campaign seemed quite daunting. She also says that being a part of it, even the parts that were outside of her immediate comfort zone, has renewed her faith in what average citizens can accomplish when they set out to make a difference.

"I remember my husband and I sitting in the car just a few weeks after Emma had died, and I was just so angry," she said. "My husband looked at me and told me that I could not go through life like that, being that angry. At that moment I realized that I couldn't be that way, and that wasn't who I was. The fact that I had a loss was not going to define me in a negative way. I had to make something good of it.

"At the time of that revelation, I had not yet met these women, so I didn't know yet what that 'good' was going to be. Eight years ago [when we lost Emma], I had no idea that I would be here and doing this. I wouldn't change the fact that I had her and she was a part of my life. She has made me a better person and that has had an impact on other people."

The women are quick to point out that although stillbirth and infant death aren't openly discussed, its likely that most people have in some way been impacted by them. Across the nation, about one out of every 150 pregnancies ends in stillbirth.

"We want to remember and honor our daughters -- we are all inspired by them to be advocates," Petersen said. "We want to raise awareness of and advocate for better understanding of why pregnancies end like this, and what can be done to prevent it. We want Iowa to be the safest place in the world for babies."

(This article, written by myself, was originally published July 2, 2009 on The Iowa Independent.)

Queer Eye for the Hawkeye:

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First, the grant opportunity:

The Institute for Interactive Journalism and the McCormick Foundation New Media Women Entrepreneurs are hoping to fund three women-led projects that will "rock the world of journalism."

Funding -- $10,000 grants -- is available to start-ups only. The projects must launch (at least a live beta) within 10 months, and projects must have a plan in place for continuance after initial funding has ended. Further, the projects must have journalistic value -- and may be independent or housed within traditional media. Note, however, that personal blogs and one-time documentaries will not be funded.

Awardees will receive funding through a subcontract if they are an individual or affiliated with a business; and through a grant if they are affiliated with a non-profit institution.

The application deadline is March 31. For full guidelines and an application, visit NMWE's Web site.

The Iowa Women's Summit:

DAWN'S List (Democratic Activist Women's Network) is holding its 2009 Democratic Women's Summit on Saturday, March 28, at the Iowa Historical Building in Des Moines. The event will run from 8:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m.

If registration is done prior to March 20, the cost is $25 per person and includes lunch and light refreshments. After that date (and at the door), the fee increases to $35.

Organizers expect women from every county to discuss how to begin changing Iowa politics -- the politics that has never seen a woman elected governor or a woman elected to Congress. Several women who have been elected to Congress from neighboring states have been invited to take part in this strategy and planning session.

"When women are a part of the political process, we have a democracy that is truly representative. When women sit at the decision-making tables, the concerns for women and families are not ignored. When women are in positions of leadership, we broaden the scope of possibilities for other women -- our daughters, granddaughters, sisters and friends."

For more information on this event, please visit the DAWN's List Web site.