Essential Estrogen

Here's a story that's guaranteed to warp the delicate balance of Penthouse letter readers worldwide. The Gazette reports the tale of police officer Kevin Sims, a man who went well beyond the call of duty. He accepted, in exchange for his silence on criminal matters, sexual favors from a woman he stopped late one night. As a consequence, he's struck a deal in the federal misdemeanor case, ensuring he will never again serve as a law enforcement officer. He also faces up to a year in prison and a $1,000 fine.

If there is one thing I really dislike, it is reading a news report and having questions remain when I'm done. That's probably why my articles tend to be so stinking long. But, when I finished reading the Gazette's report, there was one question that continued to bother me. This encounter happened in 2004. It was 2007 when Sims was interviewed by the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Originally, he denied his involvement, but "when the agents presented more information, he admitted that he had sexual relations with the woman."

Three years later the FBI comes knocking to inquire if a police officer in Cedar Rapids knocked boots with a woman after a traffic stop? And, given that it was three years later, what "more information" could have possibly been presented? Had a child been born out of the union? Did the woman pull a Lewinsky and keep her soiled underpants? Had the officer inadvertently (or purposefully) filmed the festivities with his patrol car camera?

In another part of the article, the reporter (unnamed) states that "the woman voluntarily engaged in the acts believing that by doing so she would escape any criminal charges." That statement really bugs me. It implies that the woman has come forward to state her intentions on that night. Does that mean she's the one who filed the complaint? If so, then why? Obviously the woman felt strongly enough about her own self-preservation to perform sexual acts with the officer. What would prompt her to spill the beans?

According to the article, the boot knocking occurred in one of the Cedar Rapids parks. I suppose it could be that a pedestrian spotted the couple. If that were the case, why would it take three years before the officer was questioned? And, since the officer did not contact dispatch about the stop or, of course, about the suggested public service for the crime, how would law enforcement find the woman?

Interesting story -- nearly worthy of a Penthouse letter if it wasn't for the whole FBI ending -- but way too many holes. What's really sad is that one more sentence like "FBI agents declined to provide further information as to what prompted their original interest in the case" could have saved the piece.