Essential Estrogen

On Monday as I was packing up the car for Girl Scout camp, I had the outline of my Friday post -- this post -- in my head. Each trip to the back of the Jeep with dunk bags, camp dishes, water shoes, bug spray and sunscreen filled me with dread. I had little doubt this week was going to be one of the most miserable in my life. I had visions of trying to post on the sly and, in the process, accidentally dropping the blackberry in some smelly latrine. These visions were so strong that I kept my little pocket miracle in the protection of three plastic baggies.

The night before we started camp I had a dream of racing through the woods. Somehow I had lost two of the girls and couldn't find them. It was one of those dreams where you bolt upright in a cold sweat.

So, let's start with the good news: all the girls and the blackberry made it home safe. The blackberry took a quick dive during a rain storm, but it came out no worse for the wear. The girls were bug-bitten, exhausted, teaching parents camp songs and smiling from ear to ear when I left them.

Given how things ended up, I'm actually very embarrassed to type my true feelings from the beginning of the week. I was bitter. I lead this troop all school year long and had been really looking forward to a summer off. The troop parents were the ones who wanted my co-leader and I to volunteer at the camp, stating they'd feel better about letting their daughters go there if they knew we'd be there too. So, the co-leader and I both checked the "I will help" box on the camp forms. We expected to be cooking dinner one night or leading a hike or two. We honestly did not believe we'd be leading 15 girls for the whole week.

I was feeling especially put out because I had so many other projects which would have to be placed on the back burner. How was I going to keep up with the blog? How was I going to complete projects for my clients? How was I going to finish up the research I've been doing for the state? How was I going to do camp and finish up the planning for the picnic on July 14? I had convinced myself that I would have to put my entire life on hold for a week and I wasn't happy about it.

In the interest of full disclosure, I did put many projects on hold for a week. The first day or two I really tried to do it all. Two or three hours of sleep a night, however, do not make a happy camper or camp leader. Guess what? Even though I didn't get it all done lightning didn't strike me down. No one died. The projects are still sitting here on my desk, waiting for me to finish them.

Once I stopped reminding myself of how angry and bitter I was to be there, everything seemed to go much more smoothly. Instead of being upset when the girls didn't hop into buddy lines so we could travel from point A to point B, I began to leap around them like a cheerleader when they did something correctly. Instead of getting all out of joint because schedules weren't being kept, I joined in the water fight.

Camp reminded me of why I first became a leader and why I continue to volunteer. Girl Scouts offers something to young women that is not offered anywhere else: immeasurable confidence. If you want to see pure joy, help a young girl achieve a goal. Maybe she wants to learn to sing a song... maybe she's scared to climb a tree... maybe she's never had the opportunity to roast a marshmallow... maybe she's never been allowed to stomp in a creek... maybe she's always wanted to make something she could wear... The task isn't important. The doing is. Once the girl has accomplished the goal, her eyes are vivid with passion, joy and life. Knowing that she has a group of friends standing near and cheering her on is decorative icing on the cake.

That's the tiny miracle of Girl Scouts. Every meeting I have a front-row seat as the caterpillar slowly works it's magic and emerges as a butterfly. Every moment I spend with them, every piece of myself I offer, returns to me a thousand fold.

No, it isn't always easy. I don't know of many worthwhile things that are. There will always be a girl who gets upset about bugs, mud, campfire smoke, rain, snakes, spiders, heat, cold, tents, latrines or whatever. Without fail, however, if you turn away from the girl complaining about any one of those things, you'll find two others with sparks in their eyes because of the same thing. Not all women or girls are interested in the same things and that's what makes a group of us so incredibly dynamic.

Sisterhood -- even with our youngest sisters -- is an amazing thing.