Essential Estrogen

I'm not sure if you had time to scan the news yesterday or this morning to see what's being said about the presidential hopefuls as they move into and out of Iowa. For lack of something better to do (summer flu and all that), I searched for you.

One of my favorites comes from the Chicago Sun-Times and lets readers know how much Hillary Clinton likes to eat pie while campaigning in Iowa. This is somehow, I think, an attempt to paint our retail politics as unhealthy.

The best line from the story?

"We always serve pie at our events," acknowledges Clinton's good-humored Iowa press secretary, Mark Daley. Pie is, after all, an Iowan tradition. "The cherry pie has been a really big hit," he says. Rhubarb and mixed berry are also popular.

The only way that line could have been better would have been if it was delivered by Mike Henry, the author of the infamous memo! I mean, at least then we Iowans could have just wrote him off as a general idiot (instead of one who specializes). As it stands now, however, we're left to wonder if Clinton's Iowa Press Secretary really thinks the secret of a good Hawkeye rally is in the pie.

The Boston Globe, obviously picking up on the "thin/fat" meme, informs us: "Obama's wife no mere coat holder."

I mean, of course, she is a coat holder because... as you know... all spouses... well, all spouses except Bill Clinton... are coat holders on the campaign trail.

In other news, the Obama girls must be supporting Clinton since they only attended a rally in New Hampshire for the ice cream.

Of course, we've heard all about the Edwards' hygiene habits and the feelings Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney have toward their wives (and in some cases ex-wives).

Quite frankly, I think Bill Richardson, Mike Huckabee, Chris Dodd, Ron Paul, Joe Biden and Mike Gravel can just thank their lucky stars they aren't so-called 'frontrunners' in this election. I mean, who needs the stress of having your underwear color preference or midnight snacking choice reported to the nation?